Have you ever felt despair after all your efforts failed? Have you felt distraught when your well thought out plans didn’t fall into place? Do you lack the motivation and stamina to bring your best intentions to life?
As a life coach I call this “life just not working out as planned.” It happens to the best of us. Analyzing, strategizing and taking action is necessary to break the cycle and to understand how we ended up where we never intended to be.
Analyzing:
Why does this happen to us? We strive to make good things happen whether at home with our families or in business and at work, yet all seems lost. Failure to succeed and lack of results seem to be our only outcome.
A concept that can bring relief in times of lack of apparent success is the idea that we humans are only responsible for the effort, the trying. Results and success are truly out of our hands. Although we would love, similar to a child, the answer YES to all our efforts, sometimes the answer is no. Or perhaps not this time, not yet, try again or try something different.
Our struggles are not for naught. There is a purpose for everything that goes on behind the scenes and our job is to just hang in there with our effort. Effort sometimes means letting go, easing the tension, or waiting to see what happens. This means not necessarily to do something proactive. Effort can be standing back and waiting for the big picture to take hold. Not an easy task for type A go-getters, but an important life lesson is within this action of no action.
In my tradition, there is a Higher Source who co-creates life along with us. My clients come from many different backgrounds, but a common theme runs through all the coaching at Possibility:
We are in charge of trying. We are responsible for giving our best effort.
The Higher Source of All is in charge of the outcome.
Strategizing:
Adopting the idea of “Think good and it will be good” has many advantages for your life.
It is a great strategy for helping life go your way. We know our words create our thoughts which create our emotions and ultimately influence our actions. Our world can be filled with positive, caring, uplifting words, thoughts, emotions and actions OR filled with negative, depressive, downtrodden words, thoughts, emotions and actions. It’s our choice. It’s our free will being played out in our everyday lives.
Which do you choose? To truly know, take an hour out of your day. Have pen and paper available and check in every 3-5 minutes. What’s your thought? What words are you using in your head? Continue this exercise for an hour, every 3-5 minutes.
Don’t be shocked if you find more negative than positive thoughts on your paper. Many individuals are surprised at how negative their thoughts are. This awareness exercise is here not to accuse but to create awareness for your possibility for change.
Thoughts lead to emotions which then lead to action. Give this idea your attention, energy and focus throughout the days ahead. Try to regroup when you find negativity taking over your thoughts. Shout out: STOP then regroup.
An Example:
Thought: “I am so down that my project was rejected. Life is always so hard for me. Nothing works out. I don’t know how to be successful.”
In your head shout out: STOP!
Now ask: “What do I want?” (You want to keep moving forward and stay positive)
New Thought: “I am disappointed my project was rejected but I know there are other companies to present to. Life is challenging but doable. Lots of things have worked out for me. I am successful in my efforts and my trying. I will continue to move forward.
It’s about asking “Is this thought helpful for me?” If thoughts are not helpful for us we have the power to change them which in turn will change our emotions (our feelings) and ultimately our actions.
Taking action:
This piece goes back to the trying and effort. We live in a physical world where real action is needed to make positive results. Remember you need to take steps in the right direction. Take those steps and stay open to the possibility of the good coming your way. Allow it in.
Some of us may unconsciously block ourselves with limiting beliefs and fear. Allowing simply means staying open to the idea that you WILL succeed. Having no doubt that something good will happen. I love Debra Poneman’s example: when you order a pizza from a reputable restaurant you know the pizza is coming. You don’t keep calling and ask if the mushrooms are on or if the driver has left the store yet. You know it will be coming your way. You clearly see having that pizza on your table in under an hour.
This applies to our plans, projects and ideas. Place attention, energy and focus on them and then let go. KNOW they will be coming to fruition. Trust you have done your part. Success is up to the Higher Power. Let go and Let G-d. Not an easy task at times but it is the reality of this world. The better we get at “Think good and it will be good” the easier living becomes. Less worry, less stress, more ease and more success.
May all the goodness you plan be successful and as the saying goes, “This or something better!”
