Since I was a little girl people would tell me I’m a very sensitive person. I cared passionately about justice for all.Human rights, animal rights and environmental protection were projects on my agenda from grade school. I was sensitive to people and their feelings. My mom, may she rest in peace, often commented how I’d walk into a crowded room and sense the person who needed support immediately. Highly attuned and alert with compassion was my statis quo.
I’ve always been this way and until ten years ago I didn’t fully understand the gift I possessed.
The gift I’m speaking about is being an Empath.
After years of research and analyzing, strategizing and taking action for myself, I’m now in the practice of helping other empaths navigate this gift of sensitivity and awareness. It is a package deal with blessings and challenges. Notice I didn’t say a curse. It’s only a curse when we don’t acknowledge the gift and create a lifestyle that compliments our natural way of being. Understanding that 80-90% of the population is not built this way needs to be taken into consideration. Living in this hustle bustle world filled with much noise and commotion can be a bit much for us. Empaths move at a different tempo, a different pace. We feel it all and understand way more than meets the eye.
Most empaths are introverts but some are extroverts. Dr. Judith Orloff actually breaks it down into 10 general types in her book, THE EMPATH’S SURVIVAL GUIDE.
Before I go on, let me ask you a few questions. See if you recognize yourself or someone in your household in any of these scenarios: *
- Have you ever been labeled overly sensitive, shy, or introverted?
- Do you absorb other peoples’ emotions?
- Do arguments and yelling make you ill?
- Does small talk exhaust you? (Do you prefer taking your own car to places so that you can leave early if you need to?)
- Do you crave alone time?
- Do you startle easily?
- Are you intuitive and tend to pick up the “vibe” in the room? You just know things!
- Do you replenish yourself in nature?
- Are you a deep thinker and enjoy analyzing and strategizing towards the good for all?
- Are you in a helping profession?
If you answered yes to two or more of these, you may be an empath. (or perhaps live with one)
Empaths are the nurturers of the world and if you happen to live with one you are lucky. Even luckier to be one, as long as you set healthy boundaries and implement self care first.
Let’s look at a few facts: Research shows that high sensitivity affects approximately 20 percent of the population. I had heard other numbers, like 10 percent, but whichever it is, we see empaths are in the minority. Empaths have an extremely reactive neurological system. Dr. Orloff writes about the various studies in her book THE EMPATH’S SURVIVAL GUIDE and how all of this is measured. Bottomline, there is a physiological reason why we pick up signals both emotionally, physically and psychologically.
Being this way is an amazing gift because we are the givers and are able to change the world. We see what needs to happen and find ways to facilitate the change.
The one piece that is vital to maintain our way as a gift and not a hindrance is the focus on self care. Having tools to cope with our high sensitivity is vital for a healthy lifestyle. Tools like meditation, exercise and healthy eating are a must for self management. I find leaving a lot of white space in my day allows for better productivity and ease. Being in the flow, I am a better coach, writer and person.
Surrounding ourselves with other empaths and kind people is the ideal. As a coach I’ve attracted over 80% of my clients identifying as empaths. What a joy it is to go to work! In each session I appreciate how my clients are able to self reflect, be insightful and have a deep awareness around issues and growth. No life coach could ask for anything more than this!
A final note to all Empaths:
You may have been labelled “TOO SENSITIVE” by some people in your life. So many empaths have had this said about them. It can come as a subtle insult or at best an insensitive remark. So much in life is left up to the eye of the beholder. If you’ve had people call you too sensitive, this is totally about the person who is saying this, Not You! This comment is often said by less sensitive individuals who may not possess a high level of emotional intelligence. As I tell my clients and myself, embrace your gift. The fact you can feel so deeply is a gift to the world and all those in your path. My only cautionary note is to set proper boundaries and spend most of your time with people who appreciate you and your gift. Remember to take time out to rest and refresh. We need to replenish because we pick up on so much.
Enjoy the gift!
* Based on the work of Dr. Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist on the psychiatric clinical faculty at UCLA.
