Exhausted? Fatigued? Overworked?

Unfortunately these scenarios can describe many women in today’s society.  Too many hours of work with the fast pace of life in general, with technology coming at you from every direction, creates havoc and chaos. We can choose to live healthier, more abundant lives by placing self-management at the top of our lists. We constantly hear about stress management, but what is self-management?

Louise Hay’s affirmation/quote I choose to make the rest of my life, the best of my life” is this month’s featured thought and addresses the issue of self-management.  She calls upon us women to choose – to take a stand towards our best lives.  Not only that but she asks us to create a lengthy timeline – the rest of our lives. Now that’s a huge commitment!  A huge commitment to yourself.  

Can you take on this affirmation in YOUR personal life?  I hope the answer is a resounding YES!  By saying yes you affirm happiness is possible and the power comes from you. You and your choices.

We are all faced with adversity and challenge on our journey in life.  My personal journey has been filled with various challenges… chronic illness, cancer and divorce to name just a few.  At each junction I chose between lying down and crumbling or standing in my power by gathering my strength and moving forward.  I choose to live the rest of my life as the best of my life.  Every day I recommit to choosing this!

Being compassionate and caring to yourself is the name of the game and the way to move forward.  Choose to make the rest of your life the best of your life.  Possibility Life Coaching for Women and I are here to support your journey.  Remember that the rest of your life starts NOW.  Any age, any circumstance and any situation.

Our lives don’t have to be out of control and filled with chaotic motion.

Self-management is all about how you cope and interact with circumstances and people who appear in your life.  We can’t stop stress from entering our lives but we can manage our self with confidence and strength to ensure good feelings, energy and thoughts.

When YOU are in control of yourself by choosing to be aware of your circumstances and you are willing to learn strategies to help you through, you move from surviving to thriving.

Dr. Sharon Melnick, a Harvard-trained psychologist and educator, gave a lecture about our power to control our lives. By taking responsibility for what is in our control and letting go of what is not, we are able to catch our breath and live with more tranquility. Dr. Melnick speaks about the 50% rule. In relationships we are responsible for our 50% of any relationship. The relationship you have with your boss, spouse, child etc. is 50% yours. She stresses (and I use that word lightly) that trying to control what is not in your 50% creates feelings of stress.

To clarify, each one of us must be impeccable with our half. You must live with integrity. Do what you say and say what you will do. Make it a rule to under-promise and over-deliver.  Carrying your weight in life is the responsible, right thing to do. By doing your full part, you not only create your best life but you contribute to helping others live their best lives.

So what do you do when others don’t carry their load?  First, appreciate that we each come from our own upbringing and social conditioning. Each person’s long-standing coping patterns will ultimately affect the direction of a relationship. Even if your intentions are good and you work hard to create a life of ease and calm, things may not turn out as well as you had hoped.  Self-management to the rescue!

Self-care for body, mind and spirit allows you to make educated, balanced decisions. Evaluate what you want for your life. Understand what is acceptable and what is not acceptable for your standards. Too many of us settle for less because of fear. We must understand that letting go when necessary is part of living a true life. Living with an open heart that accepts differences is also vital.

A few life coaching tips for self-management:

  1. Create a self-care program for your life which takes into account your body mind and spirit.
  2. Become mindful of life in general by creating a practice of gratitude (keeping a journal to log in is helpful).
  3. Find support to help manage yourself. Find a good friend, pastor/rabbi or life coach who can help guide you
    to effective and practical techniques and advice.

Oprah is quoted as having said, “All stress comes from resisting what is.”  I agree that we do spend too much energy trying to fight the stuff we can’t change. Owning your 50% and being the best you, along with knowing what you want in your life, will lead you to stress less and bring in more of the stuff you are looking for to create your best life.